Good Sex, Part 2: Four More Things You Ought To Think About When You Talk To Your Kids

Total strangers are teaching our kids total lies about sex, love and covenant. Never mind what the culture and their favorite shows are conveying. Statistics tell us that as many as 90% of all kids have viewed porn online (many of them unintentionally). I am broken by that thought. I hope you are, too.

Our children’s curiosity is being awakened at an early age in ways that could well distort adult relationships. That’s why our conversations with our kids are so important. They need to hear what we agree with and what we don’t agree with among all the messages out there.  And they need positive messages about holy living. After all, ours is the good life!

If your standards are not the same as the standards portrayed in the media, let me give a few thoughts on how to express that to your kids:

1. Make sure your kids know you love them and are coming at this from a place of affection, not condemnation.  Just a thought: My daughter taught me that I have a “parent voice” that isn’t very welcoming in casual conversation. I appreciated knowing that how I approach a conversation makes a difference in her openness to receiving it.

2. Make it clear (over and over) that you are the safest person to talk to. No matter what the question.

3. Be clear about what you consider to be right and wrong, and connect it to the biblical perspective. Don’t just give your opinion; back it up.  If you don’t know what you believe about something, say so, then go find an answer you are comfortable with. Let your kids hear you say that God designed sex and made it special — so special in fact that he made rules about it.  God’s plan is not designed not to suck the fun out of life — far from it — but so we will have the greatest opportunity for experiencing a joyful, rich and deep life that’s full of good love.

If you need a place to start, see the starter ideas on my other post here.

4. Don’t be afraid to ask this question often: “Anything we need to talk about?” Think in terms of “talks,” not “the talk.” At different ages, our kids need different information. Don’t give the Ph.D. version while your child is still in kindergarten.

For more great ideas, look up  A Chicken’s Guide To Talking Turkey With Your Kids About Sex.

The current climate in our country gives us a great opportunity to talk with our kids about God’s design and their future.  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you … (Deut. 31:6)

Carolyn Moore

I follow Jesus within the communities of Mosaic Church, Asbury Seminary and the Moore household.

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