How to have a spiritual conversation in Starbucks without feeling weird about it

Here’s a fact: A real Christian is never going to look like the rest of the world.

Never.

We are peculiar people, and that isn’t just my opinion. The KJV of Deuteronomy 14:2 tells us we are called to that label — chosen to be God’s peculiar brand of person. (the Hebrew word actually means “treasure” or “God’s possession). We are chosen, holy, God’s possession.

Let’s call it what it is: we kind of like being called treasures but we don’t much like looking strange. And doing spiritual things can look strange. Nonetheless, this is the call. It is to peculiarity, to distinguishing ourselves from the rest of the world. Having spiritual conversations is one way we mark that distinction.

Think of it this way: Suppose you had a passion for painting old furniture. You relish the hunt — finding a beat-up chair for $5 in a second-hand store and seeing that which is not as if it is. You buy it, take it home by way of Home Depot (where you spend another $50, but that’s not the point), and transform it into a treasure. What looks like dumpster-diving to someone else is a creative adventure for you. A passion.

So when guests come to your house and notice your creation — “Wow! What a cool chair!” —  do you stay quiet? No way! You tell them the whole story behind the find and the transformation of that chair. And if someone tells you they’d really love to paint furniture, do you tell them, “Well, I don’t really know enough to talk to you about it. Find a professional.” NO! Because you have Pinterest, you are a professional. And this pleasure of finding treasures and transforming them gives life to you, so you want to share it.

And I want to say this to you: Because you are a treasure who has been redeemed and have found your treasure in Christ, you are also a person who talks about it. You are set apart for this, to share Christ. But if you’re not practiced at having spiritual conversations (even if you are supernaturally gifted for them, by virtue of your redemption), where do you begin?

Ask great questions.

Choose a few easy questions and begin to practice them in the context of conversations with your friends. You’d be amazed at how quickly they become second-nature. And you’ll be surprised at how quickly a well-placed question can turn a conversation to a deeper, more meaningful place. Try these, for starters:

  • How is it with your soul?
  • Where have you seen Jesus at work in the last week?
  • What has you stressed out right now? How can I pray for you?

Learn something new from each other.

Choose a Bible passage to study together (the method offered here is called Discovery Bible Study). Read it out loud, then close the Bible and try to reconstruct what you’ve just read from memory. Then ask a few questions to help get at the meaning of the passage:

  • What did you like? What surprised you? What confused you? Why?
  • What does this passage tell us about God? People? The relationship between God and people?
  • How does this passage change how you view God? Yourself? Other people?
  • How should this passage change how you live? What specifically will you do differently this coming week?
  • (and my favorite question of all) Who can you tell what you learned?

Share prophetically with each other. 

Prophetic thinking exposes us to the treasures that have been embedded in other people. This is why Paul would say, “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit, especially prophecy” (1 Corinthians 14:1-5).

So how do we do that for each other? It is not as hard as it might sound. Just spend a few minutes talking with each other about what you see God doing in the world and in each other. Use this as a time of encouragement and challenge.

  • Talk about what God is doing (Deuteronomy 6:7).
  • Speak words of blessing and encouragement (Numbers 6:22-26).
  • Speak that which is not as if it is (Romans 4:17).

Pray together.

Finally, pray. Having listened to one another with an ear toward the voice of the Holy Spirit, think about how this conversation can be turned into prayer. What did you learn that can now become a conversation with God? What was exposed that can be brought for healing?

Remember: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin). Spiritual conversation is how we learn the language of our people — chosen, holy, treasured, spiritual.

And peculiar … in a good way.

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